Getting Personal~Life Changing Events

We all have our milestones and life changing events that occur in our lives. For women, getting married, having a baby, set in our careers, buying a house, and so on  and so forth. For men, it could be just the same. Growing up, I envisioned my own wedding day; each and every detail. From the wedding dress, the bridesmaids and matron of honor's dress, the cakes, the groomsmen and their tuxedos, cufflinks, shoes, etc. However, a life-changing even occurred in my life.

I met a guy who I thought was the ONE. He was good looking, boyish smile, tall, focused on becoming a counselor, and supported me during my collegiate years. We were two peas in a pod. You didn't see me without him and him without me. Inseparable. We were in love. As with any relationship, there were ups and downs, good times, great times, roller coaster rides, and the like. I supported and advised him through his struggles and vice versa.

Later on down the road....a life changing event occurred. He hit me. I became a victim of domestic violence. I didn't understand why that happened. I thought that if you truly loved someone, that would never be something that your loved one would have to experience. Love was not supposed to come in this form. Love was to never hurt physically unless it was birthing a child. Well that evening, an evil thing was birthed. I was confused. I was highly emotional. I was disoriented. I did not understand what happened and why it happened and most importantly, why it happened to me.

He was jailed that night and my entire world came crashing down. A whirlwind. Many thoughts and questions came through my mind....Why did he hit me? Who will find out? I can't go to work like this! I'm afraid to tell anyone; especially my family. What did I do that was so wrong that triggered this reaction from him? And the questions continued. I loved him and I hated him. I didn't want to be without him but I wanted him to feel the exact same pain and more as I felt.

As statistics show, 99% of women go back to the men who assaulted/abused them. Well, I'm in that category. I took him back. I loved him and in my heart, I could not go on without him. We had great times after that but something in the back of my mind kept telling me to get out. I suppressed that voice more times than I can count...because I loved him and I believed our relationship would change for the better. It was a roller coaster as I mentioned earlier and then...another life changing event. I got pregnant.

During my pregnancy, we did not fight physically thank God but we did argue. I was laid off from my job weeks prior to finding out I was pregnant and he was not employed at all. All the weight of the bills were on my shoulders. Completely stressed out but yet he was "the man of the house" and wanted to spend money wildly that we didn't have and live worry free on my dime.You may be wondering and asking many questions and I will be more than happy to answer them in the comments sections. During these difficult and trying times, I sought a relationship with the Lord. I was not going to make it without Him. I prayed and I made sure that I was at church whenever the doors were opened. He begin coming to church with me and it seemed as if things were turning around for us for the better. We had an argument one night and I told him if we got into a physical altercation, he was going to have to leave for good. It was a brutal fight and I was a mess.

I sought God more and more throughout this entire ordeal. I cried. I prayed. I forgave him. I prayed for him. I forgave myself. I repented. I asked God to save me and rescue me from this almost deadly relationship. A couple of days later, he chose to leave without me asking; that was best for us and our daughter. I thank God everyday for that day. Only God Himself had to be the one to prick his heart to leave. Yes he left me and his child but that is how we were saved that day. My relationship with God became stronger and my faith in Him was renewed and welcomed. It hasn't been easy after that but God has kept His promises to me and my daughter until this very day. He has supplied all of our needs and comforted us over the years.

God had and still has His hands in my life and in the life of my daughter. By reading God's word, I never would have found the love and strength that I was looking for in a man. God always kept His promises to me when man always changed his mind and/or lied and hurt me (us). God has shown me through His word how a man is to love a woman and what a woman should expect from a man. A known Proverb says that "A man who findeth a wife findeth a good thing." This time around, I will wait on God. God's word is a light and a blueprint for all aspects of our lives. Through my trials and tribulations that I have shared with you all, God was with me even though I never realized that He was with me. I praise God today because He never left me and that He has bigger plans for me and better things for me and my daughter. I thank God for His grace and unmerited mercy towards me. God is a long-suffering God and a God of many chances and redemption. Oh how wonderful is He!

This experience truly increased my thirst and appetite for Him and knowing that He truly loves us all inspite of our downfalls, shortcomings, mistakes, and bad decisions. I serve an awesome God who is worthy to be praised! I thank God for delivering me from the hands of the devil and gives me and all of us the POWER to defeat the devil and overcome by the POWER of His word!

I left out alot of details but I believe you all understand what I am saying. Again, just a part of my journey in this life and striving daily to draw closer to the Lord. Please share your feelings, stories, advice, encouragement, etc in the comments section! I would love to hear from you and encourage you and pray with you as well as you all doing the same for me. Thanks for reading! Until next time...be blessed and I love you all!

Dr. Roslynn