We all have our milestones and life changing events that occur in our lives. For women, getting married, having a baby, set in our careers, buying a house, and so on and so forth. For men, it could be just the same. Growing up, I envisioned my own wedding day; each and every detail. From the wedding dress, the bridesmaids and matron of honor's dress, the cakes, the groomsmen and their tuxedos, cufflinks, shoes, etc. However, a life-changing even occurred in my life.
I met a guy who I thought was the ONE. He was good looking, boyish smile, tall, focused on becoming a counselor, and supported me during my collegiate years. We were two peas in a pod. You didn't see me without him and him without me. Inseparable. We were in love. As with any relationship, there were ups and downs, good times, great times, roller coaster rides, and the like. I supported and advised him through his struggles and vice versa.
Later on down the road....a life changing event occurred. He hit me. I became a victim of domestic violence. I didn't understand why that happened. I thought that if you truly loved someone, that would never be something that your loved one would have to experience. Love was not supposed to come in this form. Love was to never hurt physically unless it was birthing a child. Well that evening, an evil thing was birthed. I was confused. I was highly emotional. I was disoriented. I did not understand what happened and why it happened and most importantly, why it happened to me.
He was jailed that night and my entire world came crashing down. A whirlwind. Many thoughts and questions came through my mind....Why did he hit me? Who will find out? I can't go to work like this! I'm afraid to tell anyone; especially my family. What did I do that was so wrong that triggered this reaction from him? And the questions continued. I loved him and I hated him. I didn't want to be without him but I wanted him to feel the exact same pain and more as I felt.
As statistics show, 99% of women go back to the men who assaulted/abused them. Well, I'm in that category. I took him back. I loved him and in my heart, I could not go on without him. We had great times after that but something in the back of my mind kept telling me to get out. I suppressed that voice more times than I can count...because I loved him and I believed our relationship would change for the better. It was a roller coaster as I mentioned earlier and then...another life changing event. I got pregnant.
During my pregnancy, we did not fight physically thank God but we did argue. I was laid off from my job weeks prior to finding out I was pregnant and he was not employed at all. All the weight of the bills were on my shoulders. Completely stressed out but yet he was "the man of the house" and wanted to spend money wildly that we didn't have and live worry free on my dime.You may be wondering and asking many questions and I will be more than happy to answer them in the comments sections. During these difficult and trying times, I sought a relationship with the Lord. I was not going to make it without Him. I prayed and I made sure that I was at church whenever the doors were opened. He begin coming to church with me and it seemed as if things were turning around for us for the better. We had an argument one night and I told him if we got into a physical altercation, he was going to have to leave for good. It was a brutal fight and I was a mess.
I sought God more and more throughout this entire ordeal. I cried. I prayed. I forgave him. I prayed for him. I forgave myself. I repented. I asked God to save me and rescue me from this almost deadly relationship. A couple of days later, he chose to leave without me asking; that was best for us and our daughter. I thank God everyday for that day. Only God Himself had to be the one to prick his heart to leave. Yes he left me and his child but that is how we were saved that day. My relationship with God became stronger and my faith in Him was renewed and welcomed. It hasn't been easy after that but God has kept His promises to me and my daughter until this very day. He has supplied all of our needs and comforted us over the years.
God had and still has His hands in my life and in the life of my daughter. By reading God's word, I never would have found the love and strength that I was looking for in a man. God always kept His promises to me when man always changed his mind and/or lied and hurt me (us). God has shown me through His word how a man is to love a woman and what a woman should expect from a man. A known Proverb says that "A man who findeth a wife findeth a good thing." This time around, I will wait on God. God's word is a light and a blueprint for all aspects of our lives. Through my trials and tribulations that I have shared with you all, God was with me even though I never realized that He was with me. I praise God today because He never left me and that He has bigger plans for me and better things for me and my daughter. I thank God for His grace and unmerited mercy towards me. God is a long-suffering God and a God of many chances and redemption. Oh how wonderful is He!
This experience truly increased my thirst and appetite for Him and knowing that He truly loves us all inspite of our downfalls, shortcomings, mistakes, and bad decisions. I serve an awesome God who is worthy to be praised! I thank God for delivering me from the hands of the devil and gives me and all of us the POWER to defeat the devil and overcome by the POWER of His word!
I left out alot of details but I believe you all understand what I am saying. Again, just a part of my journey in this life and striving daily to draw closer to the Lord. Please share your feelings, stories, advice, encouragement, etc in the comments section! I would love to hear from you and encourage you and pray with you as well as you all doing the same for me. Thanks for reading! Until next time...be blessed and I love you all!
Dr. Roslynn
Christian atmosphere, discussing spiritual topics and personal experiences. A place for prayer and sharing.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Friday, September 14, 2012
Prayers
Prayer is an essential tool in obtaining a closer relationship with
God. Prayer is simply having a conversation with God. Just as if you
would talk to a good friend. God is our friend and He loves us so very
much! He wants us to come to Him with all of our problems, issues,
thoughts, our happy times, our troubled times. God wants us to be as
close to Him as we possibly can. Prayers can be life changing and life
saving.Will you open up and talk with Him? He's just a conversation
away...
If you would like to leave your prayer requests in the comments section of this page, please feel free to do so. Rest assured I will pray for you. Also, pray for those who post as well...touching and agreeing in spirit.
Philippians 4:6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
Matthew 6:9-15 "This, then, is how you should pray:" 'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.' For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
1 Chronicles 4:10 Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request.
If you would like to leave your prayer requests in the comments section of this page, please feel free to do so. Rest assured I will pray for you. Also, pray for those who post as well...touching and agreeing in spirit.
Philippians 4:6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
Matthew 6:9-15 "This, then, is how you should pray:" 'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.' For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
1 Chronicles 4:10 Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request.
Friday, September 7, 2012
Unity Begins at Home (The Heart)
On a particular social website, the question is
always asked “What’s on your mind?” We all express ourselves in our own unique
and creative ways. Well, here is mine
today…I will be glad when one day this country and world will line up with God’s
word. I will be glad when people stop seeing “color” and judging because of “color”
and see the person’s character. The Word of God say for us to love one another
just as Christ loves us as stated in John 13:34. It is very easy to say “I love
you” but do we really meant it?
Divided, no one will accomplish anything but united
we can achieve the impossible and move mountains. Matthew 12:25 says, “…every
kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or
house divided against itself shall not stand.” Additionally, Psalm 133 verse 1
says, “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together
in unity.” 1 Corinthians 1:10, “Now I plead with you, brethren, by the name of
our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and that there be no
divisions among you, but that you be perfectly joined together in the same mind
and in the same judgment.”
Simply put, we need to love. We need love. We should
cast down hatred and racism. We should cast down finger-pointing and slander.
The Bible tells us to build up one another; edify. Romans 15:2 says “Let every
one of us please his neighbour for his good to edification.” In
order for us to stand as one, we have to be unified. Stop the hate. It’s so
much easier to love and this world would be a much better place if people
removed the blinders off and stop entertaining negative and damaging ideas of
their forefathers. Everything we do should be motivated by love. As we get older,
we are to mature and become wiser. Let us mature and behave according to the
Word of God and do what is right…love each other as commanded. 1 Corinthians
13:4 says “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud.”
Be blessed people of God!
Roslynn
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